YOGURT INCIDENT AT FOOD LION

April 10, 2010
　
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP


YOGURT INCIDENT AT FOOD LION
All I needed was that wonderful Silk soy milk and that sweet thing I've substituted for ice cream, Kozy Shack Rice Pudding. It more than suffices my urge for ice cream. Actually,..if you read the stats on the Kozy Shack container, you will find that the fat calories are really low; 30 per serving. And...the sugar is only 14 grams per serving (.5cup). But anyway, I was moving quickly. I knew what I wanted and where to get it. One aisle, both items. I came through the door at a good clip; I continued clipping towards the 'Kozy Shack and Silk' aisle and as soon as I made the 90* turn into the aisle, I was blocked by a large woman with a ruddy complexion, red-blonde hair and a few of her teeth. She was taking up (I'm serious about this) the entire yogurt section and holding 'a' container of Dannon yogurt in her hand. She looked at me wide-eyed as if I was someone she knew but had not seen in ages. She exclaimed in a loud voice, "Did you know this stuff is good on a biiiaskit?" I (or my shoes) was/were so flabbergasted by what they heard that my shoes screeched as they brought me to a halt. My blown mind was saying "keep moving", but my shoes said, "Oh hell no; we're gonna hear this." On a biscuit? My brain (and my shoes) were trying to wrap themselves around the image of yogurt on a biscuit. My shoes were first to get it. They always keep their feet on the ground. I asked myself, "Isn't yogurt a health food? Doesn't it help those who try to eat less fats and be more sensible about what they put in their mouths? Get that calcium and that lack of calories and all that good stuff they tell us about yogurt?" While I was trying to absorb what she had just said, she continued, "I was at McDonald's the other day and got one of those parfaaays and I decided I wanted a biiiaskit too, so I ordered me a biiaskit and poured that parfaaay all over it and it was jus' like strawburry shortcake! So I figured strawburry yogurt should be good on a biiaskit too and I tried it and it wuz goood. You should try it." As my mind careened into the front porch, finally coming home , I pulled my mouth shut and tried to make some words. (Bear in mind that my mind had not yet gotten through the front door.) My lips were still wanting to stay away from each other, but I managed a "I've never thought of that." "Yea, she said, my husband loves it too." I thanked her for the idea and I thought as I eased away and she continued praising her husband and yogurt on a biscuit, "Yep, I'll try that just as soon as my 17th. cousin, 9 times removed comes back from the dead and tells me just that......but he/she (?) will have to be wearing a French Maid outfit with logging boots for me to believe her/him......no outfit, no biscuit. That's it.
You cannot make this stuff up.
Cloudy